It’s no secret that young marriage is more than common in the military community. While many young couples choose the military as an escape from their community or their situation like a teen pregnancy, or simply being in love and not wanting to have to deal with the hardships that a long distance relationship can bring, is marriage the right chouse? Lets take a look.
First of all, lets establish how young we’re talking about. Essentially when someone thinks about young marriage they think about couples fresh out of high school, which means 17 to 18 years old. Old enough to make their own life decisions, but not quite old enough to see the tail end of what those decisions may mean.
So you’re in love, you’re 18 and your boyfriend signs up for the military. You wait for him while he’s going through basic training and AIT and it feels like he’ll never be finished, but the time comes and you’re in his arms again and the thought of ever being without one another seems too hard to handle so you decide to get married. He’s getting a duty station soon so you know that if you don’t get married now, you will be spending years apart. Is marriage the answer?
In the military, marriage will not prevent separation. Whether you’re married or not there will be months where you will be apart due to military trainings, and years where you will be apart due to deployments. Thus getting married will cut down on the away time, but certainly won’t make it a non-issue. If anything, try making it through a deployment and all of the chaos and unpredictability that it brings If you can make it through that as a young couple, then consider taking your relationship to the next level.
Marriage is a lot more than being in love with someone. Marriage is dedicating your life to someone. Marriage is finances, credit scores, and relying on one another instead of your parents. Marriage is problem solving in every aspect of life. Marriage is patience and understanding. it’s compromising and apologizing. It’s putting someone else’s life before your own. It seems like a romantic adventure, and while it i,s it’s also a large dose of reality in adulthood that someone in their teens may not be ready for.
When you’re in your teens, what you what and what you believe in, change on a daily basis. That’s the joy of being a teenager. You get to try on a new you every day. It’s a period of trial and error in your life in the journey of becoming a successful and happy adult. Don’t you think that you need to be sure of exactky who you both are before signing a piece of paper joining you for life? You will both be changing more than you will ever expect in the next 5 years; are you willing to gamble a marriage hoping that who you both change into will still be compatible?
Of course saying this will make many say “we love each other and that will never change”. No one loves someone thinking that they’ll ever stop, but the reality remains that when people grow up and evolve, sometimes their feelings change. It’s a lot easier to break up with someone than it is to divorce them. Marriage is a big step and should be viewed as such, and not simple a step that can be undone.
Many say that teens don’t know what “true love” is, and I disagree. While you may not understand other aspects of a relationship that someone older might value, that does not cheapen the feelings that younger couples legitimately feel for one another. Love, as a feeling, is relative and can only be judged and measured by the two people in the relationship.
The final point is that marriage is a lot more than love. Marriage is the rest of your life, and if you two are truly in love, waiting will only make your relationship stronger. Waiting will allow you to get to know yourself without the pressure of marriage, and will allow you to get to know one another on another level before making the life changing decision to dedicate your lives to one another. If someone loves you, they’d wait untilt he end of time to keep you forever.