Are you hard to talk to or feel your partner is ‘talking behind your back?’ If so, then you just may be the problem! Not being able to talk to you about sensitive issues may push your partner to someone else for comfort, possibly leading to an emotional affair or infidelity.
Communication deficits may indirectly be the number one cause for separations and divorces. Oftentimes, the underlying problem is difficult to detect while incrementally creating a barrier in a previously healthy relationship. The emotional bond once holding a couple together, withers away and is replaced by insecurities and mistrust from the ineffective communication.
Dumbfounded by your partner’s stupidity
The combined divorce and separated rates here in downtown Nashville sits at only at 10% and the marriage rate is at 34% (2010). While these numbers may appear impressive initially, you may want to recall the statistical average that half of all marriages end in divorce. Factor that in the equation and add the trend many are holding back on marriage, and we may have a problem.
One solution to keep couples together is learning the communication barriers.
Among the copious reasons for communication breakdowns are avoidance and personalizing. Partners who don’t want to change a bad habit or unacceptable behavior, for example, will refuse to even discuss it. The discussion will make the problem become evident and require a change from them, which they do not want. As long as the issue is avoided in conversations, things can stay the same.
Another reason is individuals with low self esteem personalize constructive criticism and feel threatened or emotionally attacked when discussing certain topics in a relationship. Instead of rational problem solving, they tend to ‘counter-attack.’ Depending on the person, the reciprocal attack may be expressed as anger, sadness, depression and other negative emotions. This pattern eventually halts effective communication as the partner learns not to bring the subject up.
Understanding the reasons why you don’t talk openly and honestly to your partner is the first step in effective communication.
If you won’t talk about sensitive issues with your partner, don’t be surprised when they find someone else who will.
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