“When I was young, I met this beatiful girl on a lake.” The imagery of a love affair between a very impressionistically innocent and yet free and easygoing woman. And a man whose rigid schedule needed an adjustment. A springtime dream. A prelude to the summer of life and a wedding. A gentle love. Since she loves him, she knows just how to add that special spark to an otherwise dull and routine daily life. This life is a beautiful oil painting entrenched deep with the thoughts of God’s heart in love…when next the beautiful life turns into the man and the woman at the funeral of their children. Viewing the boy, the wife with the beautiful spirit goes home and slowly begins to fade.
“What in the world were you thinking?” Flashes of memories of things said past push her spirit down, down a spiral staircase. Looking up, she no longer finds the joy she once knew. As darkness grows near she sinks into a deep depression and he soon finds no other choice. She can no longer think through the deep pain. Where did it fade? How did it go? Through people who just kept saying and saying and saying the wrong thing at the right time to destroy the shaft of light. Until finally one day it just closed off completely. And that is when the thoughts of suicide came. Again.
The glimpse of the future brings her to the place where he helped her through. She finally found a way to begin the paintings again. The talent she thought entombed with the great and tumultous onslaught of tragedy. And the art gallery. “The eighteen pieces from Germany never arrived. “I’m sorry. I can’t leave. Drop by after work – I’ll be home late. But I’ll be home.” She does not know she hears the last words he ever spoke on this earth again.
Chris on the operating table for what seems as days. “Are you confused with how you got home so fast? You don’t want to be dead Chris – what you want to remember is your kids.” The angel notes with Chris that she hurts very badly, speaking about her at the funeral. “You’re going to like my dog.”
A father and a teenage son stand in the soft dripping rain near a brown tree. “School’s wrong for you,” Chris tells his son in memories gone past. The angel tells him, “Chris you wont’ want to stay. It’s your funeral.” Chris ponders why he sees himself while no one else sees him. The angel explains to Chris that he did not dissapear. “You didn’t. You only died.” Touching her lips with his fingers, she feels him. He holds her and begins to kiss her, but can’t.
“Double D anniversary.” “Place we first met.” Chris stands at the entrance to the realm of heaven and views his dream house. “Looks a little familiar doc.” The place she dreamed for them. She has a nervous breakdown as she finally figures out he died. Not only will they not be together now, but some things too painful to believe make her suspect that God does not exist. “Christ, when does it end?” “It has no rules Chris. “The reality is, it’s over when you stop wanting to hurt her.”
There are these people in life who are stronger than those they destroy. There are those who destroy by planned intent. Chris is one who destroys perhaps with lack of the knowledge of how his words and actions hurt.
He begins to live in his her painting of the dream world she painted for the two of them to live in. He speaks to her. But she cannot hear. You are the painter now, he thinks in this new heaven. Turquoise wings and Cezanne. “If you’re aware you exist, then you do. That’s why you are still here.” Thought is real. Physical is illusion. “Where’s God in this?”
“They say we live in our minds.” She who already left her mind lives with him through paint.
Covered in pain, Chris falls in love with Annie all over again as he runs toward her red scarf. But instead encounters the lilac tree she just painted. He feels her pain, “Screaming, I love you!” from the heavens. Proves it isn’t true. Distance carries the heart more. Heartache. Distance from the two hearts of the soulmaster.
“Time doesn’t exist here and wherever it went, it won’t make me love Annie any less.” Leona takes him to the heavenly city and the little girl that died. She became an oriental woman because her father said before she died [Insinuating her inferior] that he loved oriental women for their beauty and their grace. It was the last thing the little girl remembered before she died. The truth is simply that earth is over. “Across whatever distance there is I send you my love.” “Chris, Annie’s dead,” the angel tells him. “It’s not something I ever expected,” he strangely states calmly. Christ, emotionally upset tells the angel, “She’s my soulmate! I must find her.” Hiring a tracker, he embarks on the mission that God embraces.
As he journeys to the direction he thinks she is, he thinks. He remembers words she said. The chasm of separation he once created so carelessly for his convenience, God now has made large. Pushing past and walking over souls sentenced to Hell forever he makes the forbidden journey from heaven to hell. He, solely responsible for her fate now and held accountable remembers things she told him in his darkest hours. She loved. And prayed. And encouraged him unfailingly. And he knows that this was no time to abandon her. And yet he did. He remembers telling her even as he now sees the sadness he once felt – “It’s just that whenever I’m drowning, I feel like I’m all alone in a sea of faces.”
She encourages him, telling him, “You must never give up.” He hurts more as now he no longer hears her voice. “What’s true in our minds is true. Whether some people know it or not.”
He remembers her words and knows somehow that if it is the last thing he does in life, he must find her now. “He was a coward. It was his place to hide. He pushed away the pain to disconnect himself. Sometimes when you win, you lose.”