The couple began behaving as private investigators soon after the wedding ceremony was over. Each began the intrusive behaviors looking through pocket books, clicking through one another’s cell phone memory, asking to share one another’s e-mail, and looking through photos on social media. Was the women she recognized at the wedding the same women to whom he had winked in a social media? Was that boy the same guy on her page and at the wedding? They both knew that the persons in question were cousins only. And yet the suspiciousness of the couple continued.
In a November 2010 article titled, “Why do close partners snoop? Predictors of intrusive behavior in newlywed couples”, published in the journal “Personal Relationships”, authors Charlotte D. W. Vinkers and colleagues report that among their sample of newlyweds:
- intrusiveness can destroy relationships
- perception of non-transparency is related to intrusiveness
- trust can regulate the relation between non-transparency and intrusiveness
- trust can ameliorate the detrimental effect of intrusiveness in relationships
Perception of the partner being forthright in the relationship becomes more important when there is desire for intimacy. And relationship satisfaction is linked to:
Satisfaction is the reward that may assure a lasting relationship.
Intrusiveness may be related to jealousy. And jealousy can be related to:
- separation anxiety
- fear of abandonment
- fear of being cheated
Similar to intrusiveness, jealousy can reduce satisfaction and therefore reduce the chances of a long term relationship. The difference being that those who are jealous and demeaning, as opposed to intimate, are:
- more externally driven
- less fearful
- more in denial
In an article by Laura K. Guerrero that appears in the September 1998 issue of the journal “Personal Relationships” those with more preoccupations carry more negative affect and may be more intrusive.
Negative affect has been shown to have psychoimmunological consequences. One can presume that intrusiveness can have consequences for the body’s immunity. Those who are dismissive while jealous have:
- less fear
- less anxiety
- less depression
The physical consequences of anxiety and stress can include heart disease. The consequences of depression can include compromised immunity, may be cancer and heart disease. Jealousy combined with dismissive may be better than jealousy combined with being preoccupied or jealousy and intrusiveness combined. Following the title of this article may be the best alternative of the two.