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Jerry the King Lawyer goes Troll hunting; R-Truth has parental rights issues
Welcome back for another installment of Them’s Fightin’ Words, brought to you by cookies, dinosaurs and by the number 2. And by viewers like you.
Jerry the King starts off Raw this week by marching triumphantly to the ring, crown in hand. He handily gloats for having trounced Michael “Troll” at last night’s Over the Limit pay per view. And with this, I hope the last chapter of their long, drawn out feud has finally been closed. Cole the Troll’s been beaten, stomped, whipped, drug through the mud and even forced to kiss some feet. There’s nothing than can be done to demoralize him further without going into the realm of pure overkill. Now can we shift the focus back on giving some face time to deserving up and comers like Mason Ryan, Alex Riley and Zack Ryder.
King says that none of it would’ve been possible without the help of one man. Cue the scorching electric guitar of Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s theme music. Something about hearing that music makes the nostalgic young wrestling fan in me jump up and do a happy dance. Weird, I wasn’t even all that much of a Bret Hart fan when I was younger. I guess in the wake of the passing of wrestling legend Macho Man Randy Savage I’m feeling extra nostalgic this week.
And here comes R-Truth, just the right ingredient to make an already promising opening extra memorable. I’m relieved to say Truth’s mic skills this week don‘t come off nearly as forced and/or downright crazy as his turn at bat last week. I mean sure, Truth is careful to insert a few well-chosen ‘Truth’isms into the whole transaction, just so you don’t forget he is, in fact, bat $#!+ insane. But all told, a much better performance from the star. I speculated last week whether or not R-Truth’s being insane wasn’t meant to be a part of his gimmick. Don’t get me wrong; i’m well aware that a huge part of it is probably just Ron Killings’ real personality, but WWE brass have wisely decided that when life gives you crazy, you make a big ol’ heapin’ pot of Crazyade. Now even WWE.com is referring to Truth as “the Conspiracy nut” so I guess it’s official.
He also has a very peculiar habit of referring to Bret as simply ‘Hitman Hart’, which I guess is passable as a shortened form of his name but still sounds kinda clunky. I mean, it’d be like referring to the Rock as ‘The People’s Champ Johnson’ or Ric Flair as ’Nature Boy Flair’ or Michael Cole as ‘Douchebag Cole’. Well ok, that last one might work. Truth also resurrects everyone’s favorite imaginary fan, “Little Jimmy”. Truth takes Bret Hart’s shades then goes outside the ring to mock put them on yet another Little Jimmy, one of the millions of young kid fans who supposedly only want Truth to go back to his old schtick of dancing and singing to entertain them. Truth thinks out loud to Hall of Famer Bret that maybe taking out a Hall of Famer will be his ticket to getting a big league title shot. John Cena intervenes, apparently in a bid to cool Truth down.
Cena comes to the ring, world championship belt in hand. Just as I thought, the deck was stacked way too high against Miz for there to be any chance of him winning at Over the Limit. Truth lets Cena on to the fact that he never liked him, even when the two of them were friends. “Truth, you and I used to be friends.” Cena says. “Use’ta is a rooster from Brewster.” Truth retorts. And at this point Cena deserves at least a medal for keeping a straight face at this amount of just raw Truth’y madness. At one point in his conversation with Cena he spontaneously yells out, “I want my son back!” And you can see John Cena pause for a moment, as if he too wasn’t quite prepared for this much crazy, this fast. I myself had to stop for a moment and think about it, just to be sure I heard him say what I thought I did. “Did he just say, ‘I want my son back?’” I ask. My girlfriend merely nods, giving me the ‘Yep, he’s crazy alright.’ look, then goes back to looking at Chris Brown vids on YouTube. Hmm, methinks Truth has some unresolved outside the ring issues that he’s taken the opportunity to vent while inside one. Crazy or not, Truth’s heel turn continues to be the highlight of each weekly Raw broadcast for me. Love him or hate him, you have to admit whenever R-Truth comes to the ring you don’t soon forget what happens next. I can’t wait for John Morrison to return so his feud with Truth can pick back up where it left off.
The anonymous GM announces that the night’s main event will be John Cena and Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth and CM Punk. The special referee for the match, who else: Bret Hart. Truth, Mysterio, Punk and Cena, all in the main event. Plus the return of ‘Hitman Hart’. Just awesomesauce. Definitely a great way to start the show off with a bang.
Continue reading on as Kane and Big Show defend their titles against Nexus.