Them’s Fightin’ Words… (Page 4)
“See, we had a plan for that all along.”
Ok, remember that episode of Family Guy where Peter came back to kick the unicycling, fish juggling Hitler that they referenced earlier in the show off his unicycle? Likewise the WWE had something planned for the whole Troll/Jack Swagger falling out. Jack Swagger gets selected by the Miz to be John Cena’s opponent in the main event. Swagger quickly reminds people that there really was a time when he was taken seriously as a champ as he proceeds to slam Cena into a guard rail then toss him all over the ring. In fact Cena is getting whupped on so bad the crowd begins to chant, “Let’s go Cena!”
Oh, what’s this? The Cena hatred must’ve apparently only been fomenting beneath the surface because after each cheer there is an equal and opposite reaction, a “Cena sucks!” chant that follows. Sir Isaac Newton, you crafty bastard. Who knew when he was writing the laws of motion that he was really talking about pro wrestling all along. Meanwhile, the Miz watches at the top of the ramp, stroking his chin thoughtfully. At one point I could’ve sworn I saw him whisper to Alex Riley, “Excellent, Smithers.”
Swagger really does a number on Cena during this match and looks very good doing it, making me wonder what ever possessed him to agree to become Troll’s errand boy in the first place. Unlike some other attempts to put lower card wrestlers in matches with headliners that don’t quite *work*, he doesn’t look out of place at all main eventing against the WWE’s top dog. Cena ultimately goes Super Cena (Ehh, ehh, see what I did there? Eh? Ahh, the DragonBall Z fans’ll get it.) going into his trademark should butt combo leading into the scoop slam and then ‘Five Knuckle Shuffle’. Again I can’t help but think I must be in bizarro world. Surely I’m not the only who still remembers a time when doing the five knuckle shuffle means to… ahh, never mind. Next is the Attitude Adjustment and Swagger tapping like Mr. Bojangles to the STF.
The Miz then proceeds to demonstrate to Cena what he’s going to do to him this Sunday by grabbing a metallic arm holding one of the WWE’s cameras and repeatedly bash it against the arena stage. Not sure if his point got across here because, to quote the immortal Bruce Lee, “Boards no hit back.” Miz and Alex Riley attempt to ambush Cena after the match is over. Cena manages to fight off both Riley and the Miz, who is wielding a pipe. I hate to beat a dead horse but again, given something like this i’m really not seeing how Miz has a chance this Sunday at Over the Limit.
Which brings another Them’s Fightin’ Words to a close. All in all a pretty ok night of wrestling. No parts that really jump out at you, no parts that drag too bad either.
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“Well I tell you what, sucka! Since we can’t get along, let’s get it on!”
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Them’s Fightin’ Words 5/09/11- The Miz, Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio all go after John Cena’s title.
Them’s Fightin’ Words 5/03/11- The WWE celebrates the Rock’s birthday, live on Monday Night Raw
Them’s Fightin’ Words 4/25/11- WWE Smackdown/Raw Draft results