Last night kicked off the seventh season of The Bachelorette on ABC. It looks like this could be the most dramatic season ever! Eh, maybe. I do apologize for the late article, but sometimes, there are just not enough hours in the day!
The inevitable recap of Ashley’s time on The Bachelor was up first. We watched her dance, take care of people’s teeth, and talk about her regrets during her relationship with Brad. Then, she rolled up to the mansion wearing half a shirt and pulling along one suitcase. Where’s the rest of the load, Ash? Have a special rack for the slew of evening gowns?
Then, we saw some short footage of the guys in their hometowns.
- Ryan P.: 31 years old, Solar Energy Executive
- J.P.: 34, Construction Manager and lover of red onions from New York
- Ames: 31, Portfolio Manager and marathon runner from New York, mentioned his first choice for The Bachelorette would be Ashley H because she is motivated with her career
- Ben C.: 28, Lawyer from New Orleans
- Ben F.: 28, winemaker from California
- Bentley: 28, Businessman from Salt Lake City Utah, has a daughter named Cozy, mentioned his first choice for The Bachelorette would be Emily. (Well, that’s a good sign…)
- Anthony: 28, Butcher from New Jersey
- West: 30, Lawyer for Attorney State General…shared a story about his wife, who passed away from drowning in the bathtub in their own home. (Somewhat creepy story, considering he was home at the time, but I won’t judge).
- William: 30, Cell Phone Salesman, the women he date tend to find their husbands after having dated him, and his father had an alcohol problem and has passed away
Chris and Ashley shared a talk inside the mansion to discuss her regrets, her hope for the season, and a guy named Bentley, who she received a head’s up about not being there for the right reasons from a past contestant. Other than that, it was a pretty boring, repetitious conversation.
The guys arrived in the limos.
- Ryan P.: He is excited to get to know Ashley.
- Jon tried to carry Ashley off and asked her if they could go straight to their Honeymoon.
- Lucas is a “hugger” and comes from Texas.
- William told Ashley his heart has been broken before…well, that’s a nice way to start off a new relationship!
- Mickey tried to kiss Ashley for “all men in America.” (Sound familiar? Chantal, anyone?) It looked like she dodged it well, but he later told the guys he’d kissed her.
- Tim, the liquor distributor, couldn’t get any words out of his mouth. Awkward.
- Ben C. spoke French, which Ashley understood. (He got lucky).
- Stephen, the hairdresser, noticed Ashley’s new hair color. Creative.
- Chris D. “rapped” for Ashley. If that’s what you call it.
- West gave Ashley a broken compass stuck on West. Lame. These guys are so cheesey and trying so hard!
- Anthony played Mr. Cool and checked his reflection in the limo before slowly heading over to Ashley and pretty much saying nothing.
- Rob told Ashley the biggest difference between him and Brad is that he doesn’t have any crowns on his teeth. Good to know.
- Ames was creative and bought Ashley tickets to the ballet, but you have to wonder how he knew Ashley liked the ballet and was going to be The Bachelorette. Sounds like a set-up to me.
- Matt taught Ashley the handshake he shares with his uncle.
- Jeff, the masked man, is taking his face out of the game so Ashley can get to know the real him before seeing his face. The other guys didn’t like his choice in wearing a mask and found him to be creepy.
- Ben F., the winemaker, brought wine and two glasses to share with Ashley.
- Frank kissed Ashley’s hand, twirled her around, and lifted her up so the two could dance. While he carried her. Have I mentioned these guys were trying too hard?
- Michael was excited to see a Dentist for the first time.
- Chris M. is a Canadian with an accent.
- Ryan M. brought a camera, snapped a few photos, and asked Ashley to take a picture of him and Chris Harrison later on.
- J.P., who exited the limo to suddenly romantic music completely different from the other guys, just brought himself and his smile. Gee, wonder if he goes very far this season…
- Nick wrote Ashley a poem.
- Blake is also a Dentist.
- Bentley was very nervous, and Ashley looked upset as he walked away. I’m guessing she’s attracted to this nitwit.
- Last, but not least, was Constantine, who tied pink dental floss in a bow around Ashley’s finger.
Ashley went inside and told the guys they had exceeded her expectations. She asked them to be honest with themselves and with her throughout their journeys.
Maintaining his “first guy” theme of the night, Ryan P. was the first to pull Ashley aside to talk alone. Ben F. talked to Ashley some more about wine. Matt and Ashley “spontaneously” called his mom. (Pretty sure these guys aren’t even allowed to have their cell phones, much less make calls with them while they’re on this show). Michael pretended he was going to serenade Ashley by playing the guitar, but when they sat down, he threw it over his shoulder into the pool. Meanwhile, all of the guys were still freaked out about Jeff and his mask.
Chris Harrison brought out the First Impression Rose, and the guys went on the immediate attack to stand out and impress Ashley. Ben C. wrote messages for Ashley on cue cards and held them up through the window to get her attention as she talked to two of the others. William told Ashley he’s “just in sales,” amd when she asked him to sell himself to her, the best trick he had was to do a Sean Connery impression. Really?
Then, there was drunk Tim, who couldn’t even compose a proper sentence to Ashley because of his high level of intoxication. She went to talk to him, and he nearly jumped out of his seat, since she “scared him.” He tried to tell her what he does for a living, but Ashley interpretated his slurred “sell wine and spirits” into “sell wine and spurs?” She even said she felt bad for Tim. He picked on Jeff some more before falling asleep outside, while the sound editors worked hard to set the scene to snoring that was definitely not coming from Tim. Ashley tried and failed to wake him up before asking some of the guys to help her drag him out to the car and go to rehab. I mean, leave and go to his hotel.
Ashley talked to Jeff about his choice to wear the mask and seemed to admire him for his decision. After talking to J.P. about why he was there, the two learned they share a cupcake connection – Ashley likes to be called “Cupcake,” and J.P. earned the nickname after bringing cupcakes into his job when he first started. Precious. Really.
After talking to Bentley about his daughter and his divorce, Ashley was thoroughly confused and pleasantly surprised with this man who supposedly wasn’t there for the right reasons.
Ashley gave the First Impression Rose to…Ryan P. Did that really surprise anyone? The guy was first for everything the entire episode – it was only a matter of time before another first was added to the list. It only made sense. Apparently, it didn’t make Bentley very happy: “Even though I’m not overly attracted to her, I’m still competitive.” Wow, what a catch.
Aside from Ryan P., Ashley handed out roses to Jeff, Constantine, Ben F., Lucas, Stephen, Matt, Nick, Chris D., Ryan M., Blake, Mickey, Ben C., West, William, J.P., Ames, and…Bentley. Of course. In this season’s preview, it looks like this jerk stirs up quite a bit of drama and is still disappointed The Bachelorette isn’t Emily. It looks like a good time, as Ashley sits and sobs in her bed, wondering if she’s good enough. Class act, that Bentley.
What were your thoughts on last night’s episode? Do you have any early favorites? Leave a comment below!
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