Does anyone know the rules to raising perfect baby? The answer to this question is an easy one. No one knows the perfect way raise a child, much less one who does not speak. Cries are the ways of a baby, but does letting a baby self soothe or cry it out, help the baby or create an attachment disorder? This topic causes great controversy among doctors and psychologist as well as mothers and their daughter-in-laws.
The benefits of a baby learning to self soothe for a sleep deprived mother is one of the biggest factors in making the decision to let a baby cry it out. Multiple self soothing mothers I have talked to have described at most three days of crying. The first being an overwhelming amount of crying. The second still some crying, but a considerable decrease from the first day, and finally the third with little or no crying. Eventually the baby learns the skill of calming themselves to the point of sleep. Advocates for self soothing babies claim that this allows babes to become more independent and later on in life the ability to handle stress and anxiety on their own.
The Crying It Out Method has long been what most parenting guides have suggested,: however; a backlash has occurred as fears of attachment disorders appear to span from letting the baby cry it out. The results of studies showed the baby going through three stages of crying:
- Protest– loud, overwhelming, unyielding crying
- Despair– monotonous crying, slowly calming and withdrawing from hope of comfort
- Detachment– a renewed interest in surroundings and a loss of hope that comfort will be provided.
Attachment theory promotes that babies are unable to regulate their emotions, and that promptness in response of distress in infancy creates confident and secure adults. According to the website naturalchild.org, “crying infants experience increased in heart rate, body temperature, and blood pressure.”
Creating an independent confident baby is the goal of both these parenting theories. If deciding to go the self soothing route it is suggested to not start until after the baby is three months. In my opinion, the parent should wait until after the baby has more understanding of adult language, and make sure the baby is not under other distress such as a dirty diaper or hunger. Also talking to the baby during the crying fits might help to ease both your minds under the stress of the crying.