They are called stage moms or dads, helicopter parents, pushy, and obnoxious. In Stage Parents: Take Your Foot Off the Pedal moi said:
Recently, a New York Daily News blog discussed the top ten most heinous stage parents and here is the list:
1. Joseph Jackson
2. Joe Simpson
3. Gertrude Temple
4. Kit Culkin
5. Dina Lohan
6. Rose Hovick
7. Jaid Barrymore
8. Wanda Holloway
9. Patsy Ramsey
10. Jeff Archuleta
Were you on the list? If not, don’t breathe a sigh of relief because some of your personal characteristics and over the top intensity may define you as a stage parent even if your interests are in sports, the arts or another activity where successful competition can have big rewards. The Urban Dictionary has 52 definitions which capture the essence of what a stage parent is. Time has a good discussion of stage parenting by using the example of Richard Williams the father of tennis stars Venus and Serena.
Types of Parenting Styles and Families
Lynette C. Magaña, Judith A. Myers-Walls and Dee Love discuss the different styles of parent and child relationships and the type of parent behavior associated with each relationship type. Their comments about parents are very important. Richard Niolan reviews an article by Bamrind, which was published in the Journal of Early Adolescence. He describes Bamrind’s Model.
Two factors emerge in parenting style factor analysis:
· Demandingness: This relates to the demands the parents make on the child to be part of the family, their expectations for mature behavior, the discipline and supervision they provide, and their willingness to confront behavioral problems.
· Responsiveness: This relates to fostering individuality, self-assertion, and regulation, as well as being responsive to special needs and demands.
Types of Parents
Combining these two dimensions yields four kinds of parents; however, keep in mind that some of her research is based mostly white middle class families and less on ethnic and lower SES families:
· Authoritative: High Control and High Warmth
· Authoritarian: High Control and Low Warmth
· Permissive/Laissez Fairre: Low Control and High Warmth
· Rejecting/Neglecting: Low Control and Low Warmth
Doing real research yielded seven kinds of parents. There were the four above, plus three more:
· Non-Authoritarian Directive: High Control and Mild Warmth
· Democratic: Mild Control and High Warmth
· Good Enough: Mild Control and Mild Warmth
· Combinations of low control and mild warmth, or mild control and low warmth were not significantly different from the Neglecting/Rejecting parents groups.
Each of the parent types are described by Nioland. Whether they are called stage parents, out of control little league dads or over achieving soccer moms, the parents share certain traits and characteristics of an authoritarian parenting style. Nioland describes the authoritarian parenting style:
These parents are highly directive, value obedience and are more controlling, show less warmth and nurturance and more distance and aloofness, and discourage discussion and debate. They are high on demandingness but low on responsiveness, maintaining order, communicating expectations, and monitoring the children carefully. Their children have a multitude of problems, and are less individuated and show lower internalization of pro-social values, ego development, and perform more poorly on cognitive tests and see their parents as more restrictive. They were also more likely to come from divorced families. Boys from single authoritarian homes had more problems than boys from two parent homes.
Does this parenting style describe anyone you know?
The Korrio 2011 Youth Soccer Survey was the subject of a Seattle PI.Com blog post, Grating Soccer Parents Still Own the Sidelines, Survey Says by Vanessa Ho.
Bad parental sportsmanship is so well-known that a recent survey on managing youth-soccer leagues included a few questions about sore losers on the sidelines.
Released this week, the survey found that 90 percent of team and league administrators had experienced at least one negative incident involving a parent in their most recent soccer season. But most parents were “above reproach,” the administrators said.
Twenty percent of the administrators found that parental behavior had gotten worse.
The point of the survey?
It was done by Korrio, a Seattle company that does administrative web platforms for youth sports, including for the Washington State Youth Soccer Association.
It seems it is hard for some folks to let kids just be kids and have a good time.
In Tutoring In Kindergarten: Why Not Let Kids Just Be Kids? moi said:
Most parents no matter their class or ethnicity want to give their children a good start in life. A key building block to a solid education foundation is preschool. There are many different considerations in selecting a preschool. The overall considerations should center on the quality of the preschool and whether it meets the needs of the child. For some, those concerns take a back seat to whether the preschool is the “right” place rather than the appropriate place. “Right” meaning where the parents and child can mingle with the “right” sort or type. The focus of my comment is to urge parents to look at what will in the long term make a happy, healthy, well adjusted child who is secure enough to take on the challenges of life. Nothing in life is guaranteed, even to the most well connected. How one copes with survival in a world that often presents challenges, which upend what people thought they knew, depends on internal fortitude and a sense of security.
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