It is very important that you make time to spend together as a couple. Life can get so busy sometimes and if you don’t make your time together a priority, it won’t happen. It is important to set date nights to be alone together. It really does help the health of your relationship when you get that time that is needed to be together.
Both quantity and quality time are important in your relationship.
Some people think that the quantity of time doesn’t matter as much as the quality of time together. We have talked to couples who are both very career minded, and make frequent business trips away from each other. One couple had a wife who had just finished a business trip that lasted at least a week, and the day she came home she was leaving again to go to a Women’s retreat with her church for the weekend. This couple explained that even though they spend so much time apart, that was ok because they do “Family Vacations” once a year to Disney World or some other special place.
Family vacations do not make up for the lack of time together the rest of the year.
Even with your kids you can see how this works. If you spend a week together on a family vacation, your kids are going to get used to spending this time with you. Then when you go back to work they will miss you again. It may be pretty hard going back to the normal schedule after having such close time with them. We had one teenager comment to us that their dad was a great guy when he was around, but he was hardly ever around. No, he wasn’t a deadbeat dad, he was a loving father and husband who was trying to work two jobs, along with his wife’s job, to support the family.
Make spending time with your spouse a priority.
This is also very dangerous situation to be in as a married couple, and even as a family. You cannot make up for hardly spending any time together by doing a once a year vacation. You need to spend quantity time together as well. Making a date night for once a week, can make a very positive impact on your marriage. If you make it a priority, you will end up looking forward to it. In addition to this, it is good to try to spend a little time together every night before bed. It doesn’t have to be long, but maybe you can just sit together, and talk about your day, and just spend a little time being close.
Try to spend quality time together that will inhance your closeness.
In addition to quantity time it is also important to have quality time. When you spend special time together with your spouse, try to do something that is interactive and fun for you both. Some couples like to watch movies together, but we suggest doing something a little more interactive. We’re not saying that you should never watch a movie together, just try to also include other things that may make you feel closer.
Examples of interactive, quality time activities.
Some examples of interactive things to do together may include doing a puzzle together, playing a game together, having a romantic dinner together, taking a walk on the beach together, or whatever it is that will make both of you feel close to each other. When you’re spending this special time together, try to limit other distractions, like cell phones, or even just talking about the kids, bills, etc. Try to just spend that time focusing on each other and on what you can do to feel closer to your spouse.
Remember it takes both quality and quantity of time to have a close relationship.
So, spending both quantity and quality time with your spouse is very important. You can’t have just one and not the other. But if you make spending time with your spouse a priority you will most likely end up having a happier and more fulfilling marriage.