Everyone has their favorite restaurant—a place where they basically know the menu by heart. However, when they attend this restaurant an interesting phenomenon often occurs. After staring at the menu for an absurd amount of time, they order the exact same entrée for the hundredth time.
These individuals would swear that they did not have any inkling as to what they wanted to order, when truly they knew all along. Unfortunately, this same type of behavior sneaks its way into the relationship world… with an annoying result.
Each of our hearts comes equipped with an emotional menu, detailing what exactly we want out of a certain romantic situation. However, when a partner or friend asks us what we want, we way too often run and hide behind the convenient “I don’t know, let me peruse the options” excuse.
This is an emotional fortress that must be infiltrated in order to enter a relationship without fear or falsehoods. In our hearts, we do know what we want. We must simply say it aloud (amongst the living and listening ears) without any filters. How can we expect our romantic interest to know what we want if we do not tell them? Would we expect a chef to know that we really want broiled tilapia with mixed vegetables if we order a 12 ounce steak with fries? The answer is most assuredly not, because that would be an absolutely ridiculous and downright impossible feat for anyone to manage… unless they read minds, of course.
(If you find an eligible mind-reader, please send them my way. I would like to interview them for my column.)
“I don’t know” is a myth in the realm of relationships, so my advice is to eradicate it from your dating vocabulary and live in what you do know. When we find strength in what we do know, many relationship obstacles tend to crumble in a frail defeat. There will be no more wondering if you really like him or only see him as a friend, no more questioning if you actually think she is cute or simply find her convenient. You already know the answers to these questions. Why waste an intolerable amount of time second guessing what your heart already knows it needs?
Also, do not be afraid to ask your potential partner what he or she really wants. In enforcing “I don’t know” to be an unviable answer, you will be amazed to hear what truly is tantalizing their taste buds. Hopefully, your two courses complement each other, but if not… you might want to choose a different menu…or simply be friends.
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