One of the aspects of dating is rejection. Most of all of us have been rejected at one point in our lives. The online dating scene is no different. There is rejection at every corner from the no response to the straight to the point answer of “just not interested”. With rejection comes reflection of the self. The question comes up “what is wrong with me?” The answer: nothing. Rejection may feel personal but it does not have to be so. Rejection is just about people knowing what they are looking for and going after that. It just so happens that means rejecting those who don’t match up. There is no way around it. Rejection is just part of the dating world. Just remember you are not alone, we’ve all been there.
One local L.A. woman, Rachel, in her mid 30s commented on how it complex her when men would message her but after her friendly response they would disappear. Clearly they are not interested. Or one could argue they are busy and to give it time. The best way is to not take it seriously, not get hung up on the fact of why they didn’t respond, but to just move on. In Rachel’s case there is nothing that she could of done wrong. So she shouldn’t waste her time figuring out why some stranger did not respond.
Tim had a problem regarding rejecting a girl who did not understand, no matter how nicely he tried to say it that he was not interested. A man in his late 30s, in west Hollywood, started to chat with a woman name Sarah. They met online and eventually decided to take it to a real date. At first he wasn’t sure how he felt of Sarah and decided to get to know her before any decisions were made. After the third date he realized he had no chemistry with her. At that point she had emailed him asking him about his emotions. He took this as an opportunity to gently let her know he was not interested and that it was nothing personal. She responded by asking for another date, to try to hold hands and see if there is anything there. He already knew he wasn’t interested in her and had to tell her a second time. She replied back asking what was wrong with her and what she could do to change. In this scenario, it had nothing to do with her personally. There was just no chemistry and there is nothing you can change about that that.
When it comes to being rejected you do have control over the situation, even though it may not feel like you do. You have the power to not let it eat at you, to not let it disworth you, to be grateful that the person saved you time and energy. They helped you see that they are not what you are looking for. That makes you just a little bit closer to finding the right person. Remember, rejection isn’t always personal and that it happens to everyone.