If you missed an episode the first time around, no worries – thanks to syndication, “Seinfeld” continues to teach us what to do and what not to do when it comes to romantic relationships. Following the four most famous NYC singles, we can vicariously experience many of the relationship pitfalls portrayed by Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer.
“I Have Hand”
Arguably one of the best episodes, George is once again faced with a feeling of inferiority in his new relationship with a concert pianist. Complaining about not having the upper hand, Kramer advises George to break up with her – “you reverse everything that way.” A preemptive breakup? Yes! George employs Kramer’s advice and shocks his new girlfriend with the news.
Lesson learned: Great short-term solution, but will not work in the long run. The battle for “hand” is a sign that there is a power struggle. The game of obtaining the upper hand will eventually erode the relationship. If insecurity is present, identify the source (could be you) and try to resolve the core issue rather than play the game. Take it from George!
“This, That, and the Other”
One lonely night, Jerry and Elaine decide to cross the friendship line and “add” sex to their menu of available activities. They adeptly debate the consequences and assign calls-to-action for each. Thinking they’ve covered all the bases, the two retire to Jerry’s bedroom. A few days later, the coital contract begins to unravel and Elaine admits she wants it all … ”this, that, and the other” … what woman doesn’t?
Lesson learned: FWB (friends with benefits) sounds good in theory, but is rarely successful long-term. Losing the friendship forever is always a risk. The cross-over usually results in an awkwardness that never completely goes away. If you are “just friends,” stay that way.
“It’s Not You, It’s Me”
George Costanza admittedly “invented” the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me,” and uses it to extricate himself from a number of defunct relationships. That’s why he’s shocked when a certain female he’s dating turns the tables and uses it on him.
Lesson learned: We all know it’s a smokescreen – a convenient “out” for those too desperate or insensitive to discuss the real problem(s). The phrase is purposely vague and meant to put distance between you and the other person. “It’s not you, it’s me” also implies some sort of personal, emotional issue that is not solvable while in a relationship. Try to honestly assess your position before you break the news to your significant other … you’ll both be better off.
Like this article? Get more articles from Denise — click on the “Subscribe” button near her photo and add your email.