Marriage is a vow to remain together until death parts you both. If you are not ready to be married, then why get married? What is the purpose of marriage other than a binding agreement? If a man or woman is financially secure and there is love or was at some point is that a valid reason to get married? Well, even if there is no love anymore, marriage is a contractual agreement. Until death do us part but in this society half of all marriages disintegrate. When there are children involved, the messiness of a divorce can cause irreparable damage to the psyche of a child. Many men have made the argument that if they are in a committed and loving relationship there is no purpose in getting married. “Marriage makes things complicated,” says Marquis, 31, of Shreveport, “and if things don’t work out, it makes for a tangled web.”
If half of the marriages in this country end in divorce, why even get married? Why not remain in a committed relationship? While everyone agrees that marriage is not easy, many women want the fairytale wedding that they dreamt of as a child. But if you are not ready to be married, then no matter how spectacular your nuptials are, your marriage will be laden with turmoil. “I see it all the time,” says, Caryn, 25, of Bossier City, “my friends from high school get married to their high school sweethearts. Then after a couple years, if that, they end up getting divorced. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you’re ready to be married.” Caryn brings up a fascinating argument. Love does not equal marriage and marriage does not equal love. To many men and women around the world, marriage has nothing to do with love, but more to do with security and convenience. Sharing your life with a companion, regardless of whether you love that person or not, just seems logical.
Timnit, 20, is from Ethiopia. She came to the United States for college when she was 17 and lives in Shreveport with boyfriend. Her parents are totally unaware and oblivious of the fact that she has a boyfriend, and lives with him. But Timnit said marriage in her country is for convenience. “My parents got married when they were real young. I think my mom was like 19…but they didn’t know each other and it was basically an arranged marriage organized by my uncle. Finding real love is nice but I think because my parents were from the same region, it was acceptable for them to get married. My parents expect me to find an Ethiopian guy from the same region as we are from and get married and have kids. It’s going to be hard to tell my parents I’ve found love with someone who is not from Ethiopia. To foreign parents, marriage doesn’t mean you love a person. Marriage is the union of two people who have things to bring to the table; who can bring children into the world and raise them well. They (foreign parents) believe that other races should not mix and mingle…but if you love someone, love is blind. You cannot control how your heart feels.”
It is possible to have a marriage without loving or even caring about the person that you are married to. Marriage can be categorized as a contract amongst two people. If you love a person but are not financially secure or mentally/emotionally able, capable or ready to have children or deal with and live with another person, marriage may not be the best idea. Marriage is more than just loving a person; it takes hard work and often times people underestimate how difficult this union of two people really is.