Hot off the Hollywood presses the news has spread that George Clooney is single. Again. The break up would not be a true Hollyweird split without a public statement to U.S.A Today. Clooney and his ex Elisabetta Canalis state, ‘”We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy.” Clooney is known for his long term relationships with beautiful women that never end in commitment. He seems to be a serial monogamist with a fear of putting a ring on it. This lifestyle is achievable, especially here in Los Angeles.
To acquire a love life that emulates Clooney’s in Los Angeles, you must first find yourself a beautiful lover. Los Angeles is an impressive area full of good looking humans. Unfortunately, most of the good looking humans are actors and actors can be interesting yet difficult creatures to cuckold into a relationship. If you can handle spending ample amounts of time with someone who spends most of their time getting paid to be someone else, then you are heading in the right direction. For the best looking dates, scope out your future hottie along the coastline. The closer you get to the ocean the more beautiful the humans are. Once you have captivated your hottie it is best to move slowly. Remember, this relationship has to run its course over an eighteen month to two year span. Remind your lover that you are monogamous but let it be known that you aren’t the marrying type up front. This creates a game for your lover in which they try to turn you into the marrying type over the span of your two-year monogamy quest. This game will keep your lover involved while you scope out your next two-year lover. Sure, you may feel guilt when your lover starts seriously believing they have a future with you, but keep in mind how rad it is to be the ultimate bachelor, just like your hero Clooney. When your relationship progresses to the point where marriage may be an option, it is best to cut all ties and move on to your next conquest. You may even want to release a break-up statement just so your last two year commitment seems earnest.
Repeat this cycle as many times necessary to instill in yourself that you are indeed the ultimate bachelor or bachelorette. You will be the envy of singles everywhere, as well as all your married friends and family, and in Los Angeles just who are you if you aren’t envied?