About a month or so ago, we ran what we considered to be the finest, most impressive resume of all time (if you missed that, you can see it over here). In the time since that resume made its way online through Comedy Examiner HQ– and on about a hundred other websites; we weren’t the only ones to recognize its greatness– we have seen many attempts to top that resume’s greatness. None have succeeded…until now. Check out the new World’s Greatest Resume below, my gentle Examiner readers…
It was just about a month ago that we ran “The World’s Greatest Resume” (if you missed it, check it out over here), and since then, we’ve seen about 14 bajillion copycats. Apparently, a whole bunch of people realized that they could just type up a faux-resume, post a photo of it online, send us the link, and get all the attention they’ve always craved (at least, that’s why we’re guessing they’d bother). Thing is, we know a fake when we see one, so we haven’t run a single one of those submissions. Sorry, people-that-tried-really-hard-to-get-one-featured-here.
But today, that stonewalling comes to an end. Over at Buzzfeed, they’ve got a new “World’s Greatest Resume“, and we’ll be damned if it’s not (possibly) even better than the last World’s Greatest Resume: Not only does this one feature references to Rubik’s Cubes and crime-fighting, but it also features one of our all-time favorite inclusions on any resume– swearing (yes, that’s right, swearing: don’t click the box on the left if you’re offended by naughty words).
Are we sure that this one’s better than the original World’s Greatest Resume? Almost. In any event, we’re amused enough to share this one with you, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? This isn’t a competition, after all. We’re not actually hiring anyone for a real job. And who knows? Maybe this one’s a total forgery, as well, never mailed in or passed along to a hiring manager, created entirely in the privacy of someone’s Notepad and printed out solely for our amusement. But even if that’s the case, we’re still entertained: just the thought of this piece of paper being slid across a desk at a hiring manager makes us weep with joy. Especially if it’s at a Hallmark Store.
Click the “Slideshow” box over there on the left to see the full-size version, and stay tuned for more Funny Photos from Comedy Examiner HQ in the near future. As always, you can sound off in the comments section below if you’ve got anything you’d like to add to all this: think it’s fake? Know it’s fake? Want to explain why that matters? Sound off below, I’m sure everyone will be impressed at your party-pooping skills. Slappy.
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