Foster Parents; Did you know?
Allegations. Part 6 of 6.
Allegations; an issue that is critical to all foster parent’s, and imperative to your survival your ability to continue serving your communities and your country.
Some of the questions/comments asked in our workshops across the country, are; See a complete list of questions, comments in part 1 (or just click on the link for each question). Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5.
Now Let us continue with the last question in this series; 6. What about my biological children?
- Exactly what do foster parents mean when they ask this question in our workshops? Most of the time they are asking how fostering will affect their biological children? Anytime we make a decision it will affect those in our immediate family, just as this decision will. Your life will change drastically, and your children’s lives will change too, by way of other children coming into their lives, sharing their parent (s) with strangers, and how this is accepted is an indication of your parenting skills.
Many of us tend to consider ourselves esteemed parents, however, our children may give us a wake up call.
What do we mean by that statement? You see, whether your children welcome strangers into their family is based on values that you have taught them, i.e.|; are they selfish, overprotective of their current life style and belongings, willing to extend a helping hand to a child who needs them.
One of the biggest reasons we recommend new foster parents never accept a placement of a foster child older than your own biological children, reason, the foster children could be the teachers, or will your children be the instructors? You, by becoming a foster parent, are asking your older children to act in a big brother/sister role. Are your children capable of this? You see, there is more involved here than you and your own desire to assist children. Be sure you have the right motivation or this will affect your children’s attitude in the endeavor. Money is never the correct motivation to foster a child (ren).
Your son or daughter has a chance to make a different in a child’s life, or they can be lead in the other direction.
You must always remember that these children caught up in The Foster Care System, through no fault of their own have not been allowed to be a child. They have been taught life’s hardest lessons, whether the lessons are supplied by neglect, physically or sexually abused, or some even without cause removed from their biological parents they have been traumatized by a system designed to protect them. A system they no longer trust, by adults they no longer trust.
You think you are ready.
Another significant problem is that you are not told what problems the child (ren) you are asked to take have; emotional, behavioral or mental. Usually, your agency will notify you of medication the child (ren) is (are) on and this is an opportunity to ask what the medication is for? If the child is taking Ritalin for example, then the child has been diagnosed ADHD or ADD. You will be expected to issue this medication, and to keep it locked up?
Want to know more? Suggested reading Medications & responsibility
Here, are the links for your convenience. Part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4/ part 5 / part 6
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Thanks for learning with us, and thank you for being a foster/adoptive parent. Biolgoical parents if you have a question write to us our educational resources are geared to all parents or join us at nfpca.org