In the beginning there is romance; and with all the mystery and novelty that a new relationship brings, it comes to us pretty easily. Fast-foward a year or so, and we inevitably fall into somewhat of a relationship coma if we do not pay attention. That’s why it’s so important to learn the everyday path to our partner’s heart ,so that we can help build a sense of romance for the long-term through simple random acts of kindness.
Many of you have heard of “The Five Languages of Love,” a concept developed by Dr Gary Chapman. According to this idea, the five areas that can touch a person’s heart depending on their individual needs are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
You may already have a sense about which of these area’s your partner is most responsive to. Think about their responses in the past when they have been on the receiving end of any of these actions. There is also a quiz you can have them take to better determine their language(s) of love. It is not unusual to have multiple love languages that make an individual spark equally or in a descending order. Once you have a general idea, following are some ways to test the effects of the language of love theory out.
Words of Affirmation: Think of all of the wonderful qualities that made you fall in love with your partner to begin with. As time goes by, we tend to verbalize our appreciation for these qualities less and less; but it is important that we not let the words cease to roll off our tongues. This is especially true for the more auditory receptive because it is a crucial part of their ability to feel loved.
Quality Time: All couples require consistent amounts of quality time spent together, or it would not be much of a relationship. However, there are those of us who feel most loved and content after spending that quality time with their loved one; so for those individuals it is all the more important. Instead of falling into the overdone “dinner and a movie” date, try something that takes your relationship out of it’s comfort zone. There are some great rockclimbing gyms in Portland. Sharing in a new experience with your partner can spark new feelings of romance that have been lying dormant.
Receiving Gifts: You may think that this one is pretty obvious, because who doesn’t love receiving gifts; however, some people feel most valued when their partner puts some thought into giving them something special. No this doesn’t mean they are materialistic; and it doesn’t even have to be something expensive. It simply must be something meaningful to the individual. The Portland Saturday Market is a great place to find something unique and special.
Acts of Service: Sometimes it is the simple things in life that really make a person’s heart flutter. Think about some of the daily tasks that your partner hates to do and do it for them once in awhile. Hire a cleaning service to come in regularly and you can really earn some brownie points.
Physical Touch: And then there are those of us who are most affected by a simple hug or kiss (or more, of course). If that category is where your partner fits, make sure you don’t start letting physical affection go by the wayside.
Whatever the category that your or your partner’s love needs fit into, be sure and exercise it daily.