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Kelly Kelly takes on Melina
Next up is Kelly Kelly in a match against Melina. The Bella Twins station themselves at ringside to offer commentary with Michael “Troll” Cole and Jerry Lawler. This can’t bode well for Kelly Squared. The two ladies really mosh it up this match. Melina wraps Kelly’s arms around her body until she screams in pain. Kelly lands a particularly punishing neck breaker drop on Melina. She finishes it up with the K2. The Bellas rush the ring and start talking trash to Kelly. She takes as much of it as she can stand before tackling one of them, getting off a series of rapid fire punches before the other twin kicks her off. The two stomp out Kelly until Eve Torres rushes from the back and grabs one of the Bellas, slamming her down and unloading on her. The other twin, (Nikki, Brie, I’m sorry but it’s incredibly hard to tell these two apart and their color coordinated outfits don’t help matters.) ok let’s say it was Brie, kicks Torres in the gut and flattens her with a punishing face slam. Ow. The Bellas leave to their “Look but you can’t touch” theme song, still talking trash. This rivalry’s heating up. Wonder where it’s going next?
The Miz marches out next and climbs atop a ladder positioned in the center of the ring. Just over his head, suspended from a wire is the “Money in the Bank” briefcase. He reminisces about being a former Money in the Bank winner and champion, and his intention to reach that pinnacle again. He is interrupted by Jack Swagger, who reminds the Miz that he too was once a WWE champ. Miz asks the question that if no one even remembers that you were once a champion does it even count? Evan Bourne comes out next, saying he’s tired of them talking about what they did in the past and he wants to talk about what he’s going to do in the future, i.e. win Money in the Bank. Bourne rarely gets a chance to actually talk and this is a welcome change. I like the guy’s performing skills in the ring but promos build wrestlers just like performing does, if not moreso. Next up Kofi comes announcing his intentions to win MitB.
R-Truth comes out, talking about the conspiracy against him. He goes into a rant about how his being forced to compete in a ladder match is part of the grand conspiracy. “How am I supposed to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase when I … I got acrophobia y’all.” “What?” Troll says. “That’s… fear of spiders.” “No it’s not.” Lawler says. “That’s arachnophobia.” Despite the fact the announcers laugh at Truth’s predicament, a quick Google search reveals Truth actually knows what he’s talking about: acrophobia, fear of heights. He goes on to say, there’d better not be any spiders on the ladder, or in the briefcase, because he’s afraid of them too. “Haha, see!” Troll announces triumphantly. “That briefcase right there; if I open it up and I see a spider, the grits gon’ hit the pan.” Umm… ok.
I’ve long since thrown my hands up at the WWE’s treatment of Truth, but they are quickly burning through whatever currency he might’ve had as a serious heel. Just as I’d feared these last few promos have made him more of a gimmicky jokester, almost part in parcel with his earlier dancing gimmick. People feared Truth a few weeks ago; that’s what got him over with fans. He came off as a serious threat to Cena’s throne as well as the pre-eminent heel in the organization. Now I can only sit back and watch week by week as he slips back down lower and lower into midcard obscurity. Don’t get me wrong he’s still entertaining to watch but I can’t shake the nagging feeling a big opportunity is being squandered with the star, all for a cheap laugh.
Next up Alex Riley runs out. Speaking of squandered opportunities, why is it that when Riley hits the ring his former mentor The Miz unhesitantly jumps out of it? Riley runs around the ring leering at Miz and the former champ looks like he wants no part of what Riley is kicking out. Is this really the smartest way to build the rising star, by sacrificing whatever credibility another up-and-comer has? Why this sudden trend of portraying former WWE champ Miz as an inept loser?
Continue reading for more about the 6-man tag match.