Infidelity is a norm in our society, yet taboo for those involved, at least until it’s exposed.
Many single parent homes are the resulted of infidelity.
I interviewed a few adults regarding their opinions about infidelity, and its affect on children. Below are their responses:
Do you think infidelity affect children? How?
Marilin– “Of course it does, especially if they’re aware of it. It starts to have a negative impact on the spouse and kids once the cheater takes time and money away from them to support their behavior. The kids will immediately sense the tension between both parents and this could cause them unwanted anxiety and stress, which could lead to depression.”
Vernita– “I believe that it does and not just from the cheater but the behavior of the victim as well. No matter what age and stage of their life that it even happens, it’s whatever a child lives that he or she will learn.”
Reminiscence back when you were a child, if one of your parents committed infidelity, how would you have felt?
K’maron– “As a child, being as sensitive as I was, (and knowing now that they actually did that) if I had understood the true meaning of the word, I probably would’ve been a very broken hearted child.”
Keidria– “As a child, experiencing infidelity among parents can be difficult to process. The child may become confused and take on the stress of the parents. When a parent is down or unhappy, the child feels these emotions, and may act out because he or she does not understand the parent’s emotion. If parents do not show a positive way of rectifying the situation, then many children grow with the lack of understanding how to deal with infidelity or relationship issues in all.”
Devina– “One of my parents did commit infidelity. My understanding was that it had happened more than one time and I now have a different respect for that parent. When I look back on it, wondering why they were not at home when certain things were going on and always out very late. Telling us kids it was “work” makes me look at that parent totally different than I ever thought. I love them nevertheless.”
Jazzy– “If my dad had cheated I probably would’ve tried to hurt him. I would have felt hurt and mad because my mom and I was a pair until he came in. I think infidelity is a tragedy in a relationship but I always see things from both sides as well.”
Jamilah – When I was young, I never knew my father cheated (multiple times)…I had no ideal how it affected my life until I became a teenager and began asking questions about my childhood.”
Explain the emotional changes you may encounter as a child.
K’maron– “Wouldn’t have known how to handle it most likely. Meaning, if I’d let it break me down, I probably would’ve negatively applied it to various emotional aspects. All the bad I’ve seen between both parents, instead of learning and growing from them I would’ve gave in.”
Keidria– “Many times the children are forgotten when adults are disputing about relationship matters. Children are at times left to choose. “Mommy is upset with Dad or vice versa” and the child is trying in his or her mind to figure out a way to change the emotions of the two people he or she loves.”
Devina– “Not sure if you ever understand as an adult after living with a parent who has committed infidelity. It almost makes you think sometimes it could be ok. It leaves lots of unanswered questions because we learn from our parents. It does not hurt just one person it hurts the whole family.”
As an adult, how do you feel about infidelity; have your thoughts about infidelity changed?
K’maron– “I despise infidelity, and I know and feel that it is NOT ok for anyone no matter what the situation. A lot of times people like to come up with excuses to make it sound good, and then go into denial about it. They lie so much too where they start to believe themselves.”
Keidria– “As an adult my view on infidelity has changed on a personal level. I realize that infidelity has become a norm in society, almost a way of life and has torn apart many families and relationships. It is very sad to see society reacting in this manner, however; it is exciting to see that others are working towards change. The consequences of infidelity can last a life time, however; it is never too late to make a change.”
Devina– “As an adult now I am in a committed relationship and would never cheat. Infidelity is not a choice for me in my life. So many lives are ruined from it. It is all over the media today people cheating and completely ruining the lives of their family and love ones. I do not think it is ok.”
LaTonya – “Adults don’t always make the right decisions, and then they are left with consequences to deal with. Part of those consequences is dealing with their children in the broken relationship.”
Each interviewee seems to believe that Infidelity does affect our children. Children experience mental and emotional changes that are difficult for them to process, sometimes even when they become adults.
Our society may never find a resolution to infidelity. This type of betrayal has been going on for centuries. But, it’s a personal choice – you can choose too or not too commit infidelity. How will it affect your child’s life?