Hi ladies! Thank God it is Friday! It was a short week, but still, Friday is always a good day. I want to remind all of you stud/dom/aggressives to enter the contest on my Facebook page, Krisheena Stewart, Denver Lesbian Columnist. Post your picture along with the reason you are stud-nificient to win a chance to be profiled by me. But this article today is more about getting you ready for Denver’s Pridefest. Some of the pre-Pride parties have already begun. So, let’s discuss etiquette.
Most people tend to be single during the summer. I believe it is because all of those people who we do not see on a regular basis suddenly come out for Pride. If you know you are a no good dog, you should be single and that is the only etiquette lesson I have for you. However, if you decided not to risk your relationship for a summer fling, I am going to instruct you on how not to end up single at the end of Pridefest.
The first lesson is about alcohol consumption. I say “alcohol consumption” but it relates to all mind-altering vices that can cause you to act a fool. When you and your lady are out, try not to get so wasted that you do things you would not normally do sober or if you thought the police were watching you. This seems like a “well, duh” kind of rule, but I think it should be said. If you tend to become violent or promiscuous when you consume alcohol, know your limits. This may surprise you but women don’t like to be punched and cheated on in the midst of Pride. Just a tidbit for those of you who were unaware.
The next lesson is all about the hands. Where should you put them? Now, we all know that there are going to be some hot parties. And at these hot parties, there are going to be some hot girls. Unless you are absolutely sure that your girlfriend does not have a problem with you touching another woman, do not do it. Also, even if your girlfriend is okay with that, the girl in the dress that comes down to her navel may not be okay with it. Do not assume that she is “asking for it” even though she is pretty much undressed.
Third lesson: exes. It is very likely that you are going to run into an ex. Once I ran into an ex-boyfriend. He was in the drag show. But I digress. You will see an ex and when you do, it is okay to be polite and maybe have a quick chat. However, do not start blubbering about how “fine” she is or stare longingly at the twins under her shirt. Be polite, introduce your girl and let it be over quick. Do not opt to spend the rest of your time at Pride with her by joining forces with her friends. A very simple way to remember this is: Greet, Introduce, See you later or GIS. This practice may save your life.
Finally, remember to have fun. Nothing sucks more than having to be in the hot sun, or in a hot club being mad at your girlfriend. Pride is a time for the two of you to be in public, as gay as you want to be and not have everyone look at you like you are committing a moral sin, tainting the youth. Besides, everyone else is trying to have fun. And we do not want to hear about how she never respects you in front of her friends.
So girls, I hope to see you on the streets at Pride. Hopefully this article helps you to get your act together before that time. Check in. – Sheena.