Everyone knows that you have to compromise in any relationship, but how one goes about compromising is the question. Is it simply that you give in because you shy away from conflict or an argument ensued, making it a win-lose situation? Or, do you talk about the situation and come to a decision where both of you get satisfied in some way…making it a win-win? There are many ways we compromise in relationships and compromise doesn’t mean that you have to lose every time.
One way to get help with your relationship is through counseling. If you would like a Christian counselor, I recommend checking out the links offered from The Vineyard. If you would prefer to check out someone closer to your area, visit the National Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling.
When two people respect each other, they are honoring their rights as human beings. If one usually feels slighted and discontent with the outcome, then someone is taking advantage, while the other is being disrespected and not standing up for themselves. On occasion, there are always going to be two points-of-view in every relationship. How the conflict gets handled is what makes all the difference.
First and foremost, talk…not yell, criticize, or belittle…talk. Each one tells their side of the story, and then, with an open mind, both of you figure out how to make it work.
For instance, one of you enjoys going out with friends, while the other is more of a home-body or has other interests. That’s okay! Figure out what works so both of you can have what you want. Make a plan: the one spends time with friends on Fridays, while Saturdays are always date-night. Neither of you get exactly what you want, but you can be happy with the outcome because your mate was willing to compromise. No one had to lose. Other issues could be how one of you spends money, cleans, drives, or even how you argue. Once again, talk and make a plan!
People just feel better when they know that they have been heard and that there is empathy for their postion. No one likes to feel that they don’t matter. Keep this in mind each and every time you are faced with an issue and you will become a better person, a better mate, and a better friend. As the golden rule tells us, treat others as you want to be treated. That rule has been around for a long, long time…and there’s a good reason for it.
Issues are never resolved until both of you make a vow to respect and value the other person…in their time, their values, and in life.
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