Should you stay or go? There’s no easy answer to this dreaded question after an affair disrupts your relationship. Can you return to normalcy with your partner? Do you even want to put trust in that person ever again? Allow yourself freedom from the pain by first dealing with it. Ask yourself the tough question, whether it’s worthwhile to stay and reinvest in your relationship or if you need to sever it and finally let go.
If you can tough it out and be happy once more with your partner, then refer to my previous post, “Cheating Hearts: How to move on.” It’ll provide you with crucial steps to turning your relationship into a success. If you doubt you can do that or desire closure, then determine if it’s time to say goodbye through an evaluation of the relationship and yourself.
When and how do you let go?
Your partner must cut off contact with the other lover if they want to prove their loyalty. If you catch them slipping up, they could soon be repeating past behavior. Do you believe your relationship is salvageable if that’s the case? Even if there’s no proof that shady behavior is happening, can you learn to trust your partner once more? If you lack the ability to put trust in your partner or doubt you will do so in the future, then to what purpose are you continuing this relationship? This lack of faith will cause emotional distress that isn’t worth you or your partner’s time and keeps you from finding a rewarding relationship with someone better. However, if you wish to make it work and have opened the door to a relationship discussion with your partner, make sure you can reach an agreement as to what each of you feel you deserve in this partnership. If you reach an impasse though, this may very well be the sign telling you that it’s time to leave.
You likely know in your gut what your decision is but are too afraid to make it. Don’t hurt yourself through indecision. If you know it’s impossible to move on with your partner, let them go so that you can one day open the door to someone more worthy of your time and effort. Be honest about why you need to say goodbye and, as you leave, remind yourself to look forward to a better future with someone else.
Date Suggestion: For a creative date idea, take a cooking class with your lover and learn the power of seduction through the sense of taste. The Kitchen Conservatory offers themed-cooking classes, such as “Tuscany for Two,” for couples every week for $125. To learn more, check out their website at http://www.kitchenconservatory.com/CookingClasses.aspx.