As single black women and men search for their ideal mate, a list of deal breakers and deal makers come into play in deciding who they will or will not date. Some common deal breakers are bad hygiene, lack of responsibility, and unemployment. Deal makers are often good sense of self, stability, and education. But, the underlining current seems to fall on the black woman. In the last several decades black women have made great strides toward success in many power circles, such as, business, entertainment, and yes, politics.
In Columbus, these strides are evident in the leaders in the city, such as Superintendent Gene Harris and the countless small businesses owned and operated by black women. However, in the process some black women have lost the social skills necessary for what it takes to so-called ‘keep a black man’, not in check, but genuinely interested in them. Most educated black men will tell you they want a woman who is goal-oriented and has great confidence. These men have their stuff together socially, emotionally, and often spiritually and want someone who can match their status. Fortunately, there are some black women out there who do fit this description.
Meanwhile, the black women who are considered ‘dating down’ material are often overlooked. Typically, these are the women who are often just as educated as the black men they want to date. Black women in this category are deemed ‘late bloomers’ that some black men choose to avoid for fear of compromising their own personal growth process. The possibility of a relationship of this pairing is rare because both people are at two different stages, and the other party tends to feel he has to pull along his mate. In cases where a compromise is made to help support the other person’s growth, a healthy friendship and mutual respect can form. In some circumstances, the end result is a black woman whose personal development can be symbolically be compared to the metamorphosis of the butterfly. Growth takes time and some are willing to wait, while others choose to move on.
Likewise, it is the black woman’s responsibility to be realistic in her own deal breaking points. The desire to have a man who is 6’5’’ with 6 pack abs is maybe a little bit of a stretch if you are not quite in shape respectively. Altogether, we can all see that both sexes want someone who has direction, maturity, and awareness of self. The point is to not rush into anything and enjoy the dating process.
Link to African American restaurants in Columbus