Bad Teacher is what happens when academic professionals stop getting nice and start getting real. By “real” I mean real annoying. In the movie, Cameron Diaz plays an absolutely terrible person. She’s a gold digger, she’s mean, she’s foul mouthed, she’s selfish. I’ll make this easier. Imagine what Cameron Diaz would be like if she were a cast member of Jersey Shore. Yes, you’ll hate her that much.
Now the plot.
Diaz believes she’s out of the teaching gig forever until her rich fiancee dumps her. Now she has to go back to work. She decides that what she needs to attract another rich lover is a new pair of breasts. She dedicates the rest of her time to the job of making money to buy said breasts. Justin Timberlake starts teaching at the school and he is also rich. So naturally she wants to bang him. This does and does not happen in what is the most awkward scene I have witnessed in a very long time. In the end she settles for something less than optimal while learning a heart warming lesson.
It’s a bit of a train wreck honestly. Does it sound like a train wreck? Does it?
The most glaring problem in the movie is the characters. There all caricatures. They are not real. They are all completely insane. Including the children. I didn’t like Cameron Diaz’s character at all. A lot of people compare this movie to Bad Santa starring Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob’s character was a jerk in that movie but the difference is that you kind of liked him. He was rash, and crude but you kind of felt like he could be a decent guy. Not so for Diaz. You just hate her.
Everybody else in this movie was way off the charts.
I’m going to say this too. Justin Timberlake is not an actor. He’s not. Not at all. Plus we get to see his “O” face in this one and it’s is nothing but nightmare fuel.
There is a line in comedy and it is very fine. You want to be strange but not absurd. You want to be animated but not ridiculous. If you cross over the line one too many times people stop watching. They start to get annoyed and you become the awkward guy at parties that laughs at his own jokes. This movie is a party of awkward guys.
Except for Jason Segel. Jason Segel plays the gym teacher. He is the only person in this movie that is authentic. He’s not ridiculous and ironically, because he is genuine, he is the funniest person in this movie. He doesn’t save the movie by any means but at least he creates a couple of laughs.
The only people that would probably get a kick out of this are actual teachers. Diaz says everything in this movie that most teachers probably think but can’t get a way with out loud. Like the movie Waiting was for waitstaff, Bad Teacher is for teachers. Other than that one demographic this movie is largely missable. It does have some shock value so it has that going for it I guess.
Expanded Specific Ratings System:
Kids younger than 18: No.
Teenagers 18 and up: 3 stars. (boobs and language)
Normal Adults: 2 stars. (Segel)
Teachers that want to vent a bit: 4 stars.
Cast of Jersey Shore: 5 stars.
Timberlake’s “O” face: A thousand groping nightmares.
Bad Teacher is playing at all theater locations in Genesee County. If you want to see this movie see it quick. I have a feeling it won’t last long.