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Me and my girlfriend had a baby about a month ago. I watch the baby from 7 a.m. till 2 p.m. After work I take over again at 11:30 p.m. and watch the baby until about 3 a.m. I am the only one who works, so I pay all the bills. She is constantly leaving during the day to visit friends and family and refuses to ever let me go out. She also expects me to do all the chores around the house. What should I do?
You’ve got a real charmer on your hands. Her actions suggest she has little interest in being a mother and even less interest in a relationship with you. You’re not a boyfriend. You’re a sugar daddy who also takes care of the baby.
So stop playing house and start establishing a home for your child. You mentioned nothing about love, or about expectations for eventual marriage. Unless you intend to spend the rest of your life with this woman, you must make a change immediately. Based on the information in your question, the two of you have no business sharing a domicile.
Talk to the woman immediately to hash out some new responsibilities. She is being unfair to you, and to the baby. Keep your temper under control, but let her know that the situation must change. That schedule is a deal-breaker. It’s time for her to either get a job or become the primary caregiver for the baby, and it’s time for you to get more sleep than you currently manage.
If the two of your cannot sort out your differences, find your own apartment and get some professional help by hiring a lawyer to review your options. Don’t say you can’t afford a lawyer. With the lifestyle you have now, you certainly can’t afford to go it alone.
Your lawyer will provide you with better counsel than I can. If you seek full or partial custody and your girlfriend tries to contest your claim, she’ll probably have to start contributing more to the baby’s welfare, whether in time or money, to establish her own bona fides. Either way, the baby stands to benefit, because right now she’s getting you a long way from your best, and she seems to be getting very little from her mother.
Good luck. Situations like yours generally get worse before they get better. But since you are already providing 100% of the financial support and most of the child care, you have little to lose by involving the courts. This also sounds like an excellent time for prayer, as your problems are both complex and serious.
My boyfriend and I are minors, and he’s been stuck between a hard place and a rock. His family is outwardly trying to separate us, so he can have something of an arranged marriage. Doesn’t this go against freedom of choice? Is it unlawful?
The key word here is “minors.” As long as your boyfriend is under 18, his parents call the shots. Even after he reaches 18, if he lives in his parents’ house, they can exert a lot of influence on his behavior. But for now, you have no legal standing in this matter.
Freedom of choice is a principle, not a law. As for the arranged marriage, the parents have substantial leeway, as no U.S. law prevents them. Arranged marriages remain common in many cultures, and they occur frequently in the Unites States and other Western countries, mostly between children of immigrants who still follow the cultural traditions of their home country.
Can your boyfriend make a stink? Sure. Can he prevent the arranged marriage if his parents are determined to make it happen? Probably not. Of course, once he reaches the age of majority he will have more options.
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