Oh the things men do! Last night I had decided I wasn’t going to cook so I texted my husband and let him know that I wanted to take the kids and meet him somewhere to eat. He text back and said, “Ok, let’s head over to my friends house whom had invited us earlier in day but I didn’t know if you would want to.” I replied and said it sounds good. So, we head over there when my husband gets home. Kathleen, we literally were there for about 20 minutes when my husband got up and went outside. I had assumed he was getting the baby’s diaper bag since she was getting hungry. No! He NEVER came back in. It took a whole hour later for me to realize that he and his friend left to go rally around in his friends jeep! Worse of all I had no idea that they left. My husband didn’t say a word. When I was finally told by his friends wife where they went my face must have said it all, because she gave me this, “WOW you really didn’t know” look! I felt like an idiot. I was the only one out of 6 people there who didn’t know they had left. He completely embarrassed me in front of people I have never met before. When they finally got back two hours later it was time for us to go. All the way home I screamed at my husband and this morning I am still mad even after he has said how sorry he is and that he messed up! Why am I so angry about this when he is clearly sorry he messed up.
Dear Got Ditched,
This is very interesting situation; Let me explain. Men are like little puppies; when puppies get excited they tend to pee all over the place. When men get excited they tend to forget things. In this case your husband was excited about getting to “Rally around” he forgot to tell you that he was taking off for a bit. A point to be added, he also said he was sorry, which for men is very UNCOMMON. So while last night you were angry and mad at him, use today to get over it and realize that these things happen sometimes. If this is common occurrence between you two then I would seek some kind of outside the marriage help on communication, or check out Communication: Is it really that important in a relationship? That article should help guide you to a good starting point. If this is a first, I would disregard his foul up and except the fact the he feels bad. Explain to him that this is to never happen again and that you are ready to move on from it. Or just leave it alone, since I am sure he heard enough last night. Most women in your shoes would have been just as mad and would have given their husbands an ear full. So I assume he knows how you feel. Let it go Ditched, this is just one of those things!
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Portland Military Marriage Examiner
Portland Women’s Relationship Advice Examiner