Military marriage with one spouse being a civilian has its adjustments, but what about a military marriage when both spouses have just joined the military? There are different issues that are faced with both spouses are in the military. They each have their own requirements by their job, and each might have different requirements than the other. Some jobs deploy more than others. Other jobs require longer work days, and maybe even unusual days off or holidays that do not actually fall on the real holiday. These are just some of the issues faced when both spouses have joined the military.
When they first get to their first duty station, one spouse may not be done with their schooling for their job yet. That means the spouse who has gotten to their duty station first gets to learn things about the base and surrounding area on their own. They will be able to pass along this information to their spouse once they arrive, and it might make it a little easier for them to get around. Although, this time is trying since they are still apart like they were during Basic Military Training (BMT) and job training classes. During this, there could be loneliness for both of them. They are each busy with their own things, but when it comes down to it this is a test for their marriage. There will be times when they are apart and possibly more so than a marriage with one spouse being a civilian since deployments, TDY, and other training classes can pull them away from each other whenever it is required.
This is one of the most challenging things for these marriages to survive through. Both spouses have to know each other fairly well, have trust of one another, and most of all is able to communicate with each other. Because there are so many times when these couples will be apart along with all the other stressors, it makes it harder for them to have the time they need to focus on their marriage. Making plans is harder because of the commitment they have to have with their job. Communicating can even be an issue if they do not have enough time to spend together. Working completely opposite shifts can prevent them from communicating properly or being able to set aside time for date night or even a relaxing dinner and time at home.
The most important thing for them is to have very good time management skills. Knowing how to manage their time at home and at work better will allow them to spend more time with their spouse and children. Using time management to help them make plans is also an important skill to have and will be beneficial to their marriage. Using notes, e-mail, Facebook, text message or voicemail is a way to help get a message to their spouse if they are not able to talk to them personally as much as they should. Leaving a message where they know their spouse will find it is an important opportunity for communication. This will help their relationship to maintain its good standings, or help one that is suffering become better. These messages do not have to be to-do notes. They can simply be a message saying that they missed them, love them, and had been thinking about them that day. Little notes will go a long way to help maintain a relationship.